11th October is celebrated globally within the LGBTI community as International Coming Out Day. The day is an annual LGBT awareness day observed annually to support lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) persons to "come out of the closet".
Today, we look back at some of the individuals we’ve profiled over the years and share their coming out stories. While some people have had the opportunity to safely come out to their loved ones at their own time and terms, this has not been the reality for many others. From the excerpts below, many were simply outed and forced out of the closet before they were mentally and psychologically prepared for what it meant to live as openly out persons.
RICHARD LUSIMBO
I didn’t come out, I was outed. In 2012, after the President signed the Anti homosexuality bill, I was one of the people that were outed by Red Pepper. I remember the headline said, TOP HOMOSEXUAL COMES OUT and the story went on to narrate how I had become a homosexual. This was such a big shock for my family and friends because I had not discussed this with them.
It was also a very horrifying moment; I remember my close friends and family being very angry about finding out such information from a tabloid. I lost many friends and they were very many questions from my family. I must however say that my family has been very supportive and is very protective of me. My late dad was very supportive; he did not castigate me and did everything he could to protect me.
In our home, there was an unsaid rule barring anyone from speaking for or against homosexuality. That for me was the greatest gift that I have ever received. From that time, I chose to use the experience of being outed and channeled my effort to telling my story and working for my community.
CHRIS ADEBAYO
“I guess I figured out my gender identity and sexual orientation at a very tender age. At five years old, I was attracted to my cousin sister and I never really understood why. I also did not like wearing girly clothes like most children my age’ instead I would steal my older brothers’ clothes and I honestly felt more comfortable in those,” Adebayor says of how and when he discovered his identity.
His sister started suspecting he was queer and out rightly questioned him about it. Although tough, Adebayor was truthful and explained his identity to her. This incident encouraged him to come out to his brothers and shockingly, they were more embracing and supportive than he had anticipated.
However, he says he has still not come out to his parents although they have heard rumors and questioned him several times. He says he plans to tell them the truth after he has attained full independence and is supportive of himself.
Since publishing the article from which this excerpt is picked, Adebayo gas since relocated to Canada where is living as an LGBTI asylee.
MOSES KIMBUGWE
Like many kuchus in Uganda, Moses stayed in the closet until he had completed his education. This decision was based on the fear of being thrown out of both home and school. After acquiring his degree, Moses worked as a station manager at Caltex Bwaise where he stayed for about one and a half years.
It was during this time that he interacted with several gay boys and for the first time, was evenly faced with the challenges faced by the LGBTI community in the country. Soon, his bosses found out about his friendliness with these boys and fired him. The year was 2005.
Out of a job, Moses started pondering what he would do to make an impact in the then young movement. While at a gay friendly bar, fate brought one of the leading gay activists, Ganafa, his way. The two talked and by the end of their discussion, Moses had made up his mind he would join the movement and actively fight discrimination toward LGBTI people.
LYNN
While the coming out process was never easy for Lynn, she shared the heartbreaking moment when her mother broke down and cried when she found out that Lynn was sexually queer. Lynn was traumatized by the pain she saw in her mother’s eyes and at some point considered faking heterosexual relations just to calm her mother’s fears. However, after a lot of self-questioning and acceptance Lynn realized that living a lie to please her mother was no less a sin; she chose to live her truth and hold on to hope that with time, her family would see there was nothing wrong with her and her sexuality does not take away anything from her as a person.
Lynn explained that it took her best friend explaining to her mother that this was simply a phase that she would out grow for them to move on from the pain of knowing her sexuality.
SASHA
In 20014 at the age of 14, Sasha’s cousin reported her to her father that she was trying to have sex with another man; she was immediately summoned for a family meeting where she was questioned about her sexuality.
She was later chased away from home. Having realized that she was going to have to drop out of school, Sasha decided to beg her father for a second chance, if only to remain under his roof and care.
“From today, never call me your father; go out of my house and take your evil ways somewhere else, I don’t give birth to people like you and wherever you go, you should ask God to forgive you,” Sasha recounts her father’s dismissing work
ABOUT INTERNATIONAL COMING OUT DAY
First celebrated in the United States in 1988, the initial idea was grounded in the feminist and gay liberation spirit of the personal being political, and the emphasis on the most basic form of activism being coming out to family, friends and colleagues, and living life as an openly lesbian or gay person. The foundational belief is that homophobia thrives in an atmosphere of silence and ignorance, and that once people know that they have loved ones who are lesbian or gay, they are far less likely to maintain homophobic or oppressive views.
October 11 was chosen because it is the anniversary of the 1987 National March on Washington for Lesbian and Gay Rights.
