I am not going to apologize for my feelings; my feelings are involuntary

I won’t change how I feel; but maybe I can change how you feel about me

I am not apologetic because I owe my life to myself not you

When I wear a dress, don’t question why I didn’t wear a trouser

When I paint my nails with colorful rainbow filters, stop reminding me that’s girlish

When I hold my hair like an angel, don’t caution me, am acting like a woman

I want to be happy, my happiness is determined by my inner circle; you can join it while I have measured its radius

 

Father, don’t be lied to by the elongated piece of rod that wires between my legs; that’s physical, I am defined by the unseen chemistry

Don’t be deceived by the hairs on my chin, they are just flowers that wonder in the gardens of the unkempt wild space

I am more than a physical being and I won’t sacrifice my inner beauty for the outside paint,

The paint, the rains, storms and droughts have eroded

 

I am stronger when I am with my inside self

Sorry you love my outside beauty; you have missed the best of me

I am sorry that you don’t have the eyes to see beyond the curtains

But I am not sorry for hiding my interior from you

Sorry that you find me strange but I won’t take your apologies for not understanding me

 

Why do you then inflict pain on me for smiling the way I choose?

For being the sister I ought to be?

For expressing the true beauty my interior shelters

I am sorry that I won’t stop now yet I am unapologetic that you won’t like me now

I won’t beg you to love me, I already love myself enough

I won’t ask you to understand me, for it’s your fault not to learn, relearn and unlearn

I won’t be kind to my happiness in trying to please you

I will only take off my shield and expose my interior….

 

You preach against my existence, curse and dehumanize me

Yet your God, asks you to be tolerant

You judged me till I left your God to your churches and carried my heavenly share to my comfort

You want to harm me for being harmless yet you forgive the harmful

But I forgive you for none of you can afford to be who I am,

Even when you can afford to buy me love

 

I am proud, I am sane, and I am a transgender